People Don’t RSVP – Save Your Phone Minutes: Broke Bride

by Bobbie JoEle | Nov 20, 2011 | Wedding | 1 comment

What to do when people don't RSVP for your wedding - I would panic so much if people didn't RSVP, but these tips should help if it happens.

A broke-bride solution to your guest list dilemma.
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I have bad news for those of you who are planning a wedding, especially if you are even considering catering yourself *cough*brokebride*cough*.

People don’t RSVP.

Okay, well some people RSVP, but not nearly as many as you hope will. Google RSVP and you will find countless brides bemoaning (perhaps even cursing) the necessity for RSVP’s and the fact that so few people do. But you can overcome this hurdle just like you have overcome all the others that have come your way.

First of all, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Be honest, how many times have you failed to RSVP to an event (or just checked “Maybe” on a facebook event invite never to change your RSVP to a solid “Yes” or “No”)? People are busy. People misplace invitations. People don’t read the fine print because they are too busy looking at your beautiful invitation. There are many reasons that people fail to RSVP, but rather than trying to come up with them, let’s come up with a solution, shall we?

In the wedding and event planning circle, there is a new trend that has grown in popularity at relatively the same speed as RSVP’ing has declined in popularity. It’s called “The Shaming Phone Call”. Okay, well, I don’t like the name at all – but you’ve got to get a head count for your caterer (or yourself) somehow.

So, here’s what you need to do:

1) Stop freaking out that you don’t have RSVP’s.

Calm down. Vent to a friend. Come to the realization that it does not mean that people don’t love you. If you are as stressed out about it as I was when I realized that only 10% of our invitees had RSVP’ed (two weeks after the deadline and two weeks before the wedding), you probably are in no state of mind to make phone calls.

2) Check your phone plan and make sure you have enough minutes.

It’s better to change your plan temporarily than to get stuck with outrageous overage fees. If you’ve been racking up rollover minutes, be prepared to sacrifice them. If you don’t have enough minutes or don’t feel like making all thousand phone calls (excuse my blatant exaggeration) by yourself, solicit the help of family and close friends. Come up with your contact plan. Some people might be people you see on a regular basis, so why call? Only you will know what works best for you and your guests.

3) Smile and call.

Most of the people who have not RSVP’ed are going to feel bad about not having done so. As a matter of fact, they might have just decided not to come since they haven’t RSVP’ed by the deadline. Understand their feelings before you call, and do everything you can to make this NOT feel like a shaming phone call. The people you invited to your wedding are people that love you (and people you love), so let them feel that love. Reassure them that you would love to see them on your big day and that it isn’t too late.

4) Record everything!

5) Breathe a sigh of relief and get on with everything else.

You’ve got a wedding to wrap up planning, girl!

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Bobbie JoEle is a singer/songwriter, podcast host, writer, artist/designer/maker, and traveler who is getting back to the basics of what it means to be human.

because healing happens in hindsight

I'm finding (and sharing) self-healing through nature, reconnecting with myself, devotional cooking, creating for joy and meaning, soulful transmutation, and all the passionate threads that call to my child heart.