An open letter to Anna Duggar, and all women in similar situations | Christianity, marriage, betrayal, cheating spouse, hypocrisy, fidelity

Note: If you would like more information regarding my current situation, be sure to read I love him. I hate him. My Husband is in Jail. 

Dear Anna Duggar,

I have been hesitant to address you and your situation because I don’t want to add to your pain. Still, I feel that I may have some things to say that will help you through this.

I know I don’t know you personally, but by allowing me into your wedding, your home, and your family – I feel as if I do. While I am certain that I have only seen a portion of who you are, I have been impressed by your kindness and love. You seem like a very sweet woman, and you are beautiful inside and out. Your children are hilarious, and they are lucky to have a mother who cares about them so deeply.

My husband has also recently brought shame to our family. Like Josh, before his fall, he appeared to be a spiritually upstanding man. Like you, I was blindsided by the accusations. At first, I wanted to hide my head in the sand and pretend that my reality wasn’t crumbling around me. There are still days that I want nothing more than to go to sleep and dream of what life used to be. But slowly, the reality has settled in – and I feel the full range of human emotion from hatred and bitterness to love and mercy.

Though on a much smaller scale, the media has gotten involved in our situation as well – going so far as to publish the address of the home we just purchased together. This led to a neighbor confronting a family member and me feeling unsafe in my own home. So as I have watched the media pounce on your story, my heart has broken with you. I have imagined you sitting at home surrounded by your children, reading the headlines, articles, and comments. I have cried with you when your husband’s face showed up on my television, remembering the pain I felt when my own husband’s foreign face shattered my nightly news.

I feel that there are no words I can possibly offer to soothe your pain, but I want you to know one very important thing. If you choose to leave Josh, I will support your decision. And if you choose to stay with him, I will support your decision. I recognize that you are a grown woman, capable of making your own decisions – and just because you allowed me into your home does not give me the right to force my opinions on you. I have faith that you will be led to do what is best for you and your family.

You are obviously a strong and kind woman, and no matter what you decide to do – that strength and kindness will be tested. Just know that for every rude commenter, there is another person crying with you, praying for you, and cheering you on. You will come out on the other side of this; we both will. And in the end, we will be better for it.

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