Living in Retrospect
He fell like Eve to create life,
but no dove dipped down to redeem me from his forbidden taste.
Caught, spun, shattered glass visions of Godhood, grandeur, and gold-filled vain vessels.

Life sprang from his fingers - chlorophyll green ropes 
that tangled and imprisoned me.
Science perverted.
Knowledge distorted.
Truth burned by a bolt of bright sun.
And I, a collection of pieces of dust - 

Dim lights danced on stone walls - cold and empty as the tomb 
So many questions dead-end in dark alleys.
Alone on a hard bed, home.
Electricity pulsed with my heart's pounding,
but no voice offered solace to beat back the startled sounding.
Like Job, friendless in the endless quest
to hide my disfigured nature.

Desolate dunes of damp dreariness descend and burn my retinas 
with black and white notches in a newspaper wall.
All I ever wanted was two mismatched arms to coldly hold me to the earth -
to be your Adam - the fruit of your hands.

That you, like God, my creator - giver of Life, 
would love and nurture me -
a seed planted in fertile soil.
But instead, you watered me with the fountain of your disgust.
Revulsion ran rampant through my roots
poisoning my growth like weed killer.

You left me alone, birthed me pre-cursed.
I never asked to be planted,
never asked for water or sun -
but you offered them freely -
and I didn't know
that the price was my soul.

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