Note: If you think this is serious, you probably need counseling more than I do.
Dear Prospective Boyfriend,
     I am incredibly interested in being your girlfriend. I have seen the way that you work with others, listened to your testimony in church, and watched you laugh with your friends. I believe that I would be a good candidate for your relationship opening because I also enjoy cooperation, going to church, and having a good time with friends. I would love to have the opportunity to help improve the quality of your life. I appreciate this opportunity to submit my resume for consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon.
     If you have any questions regarding my qualifications, don’t hesitate to call. I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Molly Mormon
Molly Mormon
Objective
Young single Mormon girl seeking eternal companion to share forever with.
Education
114 credits toward
M.R.S. degree
Expected completion: Who knows!?!
Honors and Organizations
INYIM – It’s Not You, It’s Me – 2006
Great Future Wife Award – Just Not For Me – 2010
                                            
Professional Experience
First Girlfriend, Multiple guys, ages ranging between incredibly immature and totally had it together
·         Taught important skills such as how to hold hands, dating conversation, and how girls think.
·         Helped with homework.
·         Effectively dealt with conflict through varying communication methods.
·         Tended to wounded pride and helped egos flourish.
·         Edited photos and wrote cute notes to boost boyfriend morale and happiness.
·         Undertook nerdy research to understand the weird things that boys like.
·         Met and exceeded expectations by coming up with cool gift ideas.
Long-Term Girlfriend, Multiple guys, ages ranging between incredibly immature and totally had it together
·         Taught important skills such as how to make long-term decisions and how to talk on the phone for hours.
·         Attended activities with potential in-laws.
·         Helped with homework.
·         Provided career and personal counseling.
·         Promoted feelings of security through close-proximity embraces.
·         Planned and executed romantic excursions through confidential means of internal communication.
·         Nursed through sicknesses and injuries by making special recipe Chicken Noodle Soup.
So what are your qualifications, folks?
Hope you’re having a wonderfully random Friday! Happy weekend!

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